After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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