I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
