i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
