Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
