Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
