hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
