Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Randomize
