I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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