Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
