I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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