dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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