But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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