In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
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He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
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You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
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