You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
