There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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