I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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