Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
