u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
