What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
