we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
