i think my tv is drunk
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
