my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
