would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
