marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I cannot find my penis.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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