Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
My hand turned me down
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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