My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
