She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
