Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize