yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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