if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I wish I could punch you in the face.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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