he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
