I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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