I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
