Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
