I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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