Don't you send me to vm
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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