i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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