I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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