Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
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The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
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I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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