When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I need to stop coming to work sober
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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