Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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