the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Randomize
