Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
