So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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