You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
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