problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
