lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
How's work?
Spinning.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Randomize
