I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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