He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
