I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
