He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
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She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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