You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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