Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
