he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
is that a dick in a sweater?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
