You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
