My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
nutella sex= disaster
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
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well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
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It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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