you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
