does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
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Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
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Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize