community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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