yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
