Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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