I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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