I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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