So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
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She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
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I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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