After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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