what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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